I'm currently in Salton City. This is the shittiest place I've ever been to. It stinks, there is nothing here, it's fscking hot and everything we build falls apart. There's puddles of stagnant water everywhere too which doesn't help. What started out as a 2 day excursion has turned out to be a near 2 week clusterfuck. I also noticed the following things are wrong with me:

I hate people taking pictures of me- or around me. Actually any camera clicking anywhere near me makes me feel awkward. I also feel awkward talking to new people or having to make small talk with people I'm not used to or for the first time.

I have a heart murmur. Because of this I'm deathly afraid of electricity or anything that shoots sparks, especially when I have to work with it. I honestly always think I'm going to get electrocuted and 98% of the time I am.

I dread making phone calls or picking up the phone, especially to take care of important matters. I'll always look for alternative avenues.

I hate going to sleep- but I love sleeping. I loath going to bed anytime before 11pm. I'm currently near a prison and sometimes at night we can hear the inmates. I figure I've heard about 3 rapes so far. It also takes me quite some time to fall asleep. This doesn't help because our camera guy sleep walks and the other day he was bumping into shit so I ended up sleeping even later than I should have.

I have what is known as a cats tongue. More on this later.

I'm very impatient when listening to kids. A couple of kids were trying to tell me something the other day and I found myself not listening at all. Kids take forever to say shit. Also I noticed sometimes I'll ask someone their name, and completely not focus on what they say. This then results in me referring to them later as "man".

I hate dishes in the sink. And I hate it when people say they'll do the dishes then end up not doing them. Also I've found myself not trusting how well peeps are doing the dishes. Regardless of how clean the knife and forks look I've found myself wiping them with a paper towel.

I also started having very strange dreams 4 nights ago. One of them resulted in sleep paralysis which I told the medic about. He said I need to get more sleep but I highly doubt this is the case. Today's dream was fucking terrible.

So how are you holding up?

When people fold paper by creasing it with their fingernails I want to murder them, it's worse than fingernails on a chalkboard to me. My girlfriend grinds her fork with her teeth as she withdraws it and I've seriously considered breaking up with her for that reason alone.

I tend to wake up screaming for 1-2 minutes for no reason lately. It usually happens right before I fall completely asleep. I don't understand it.

The squeak of a magic marker or a highlighter marking on paper gives me a headache whenever I hear it.

@ Loop: I just addressed and stuffed 60 Christmas cards so I think I know about "cat tongue". I should have used a sponge.

I hate the Christmas season. It's totally out of control now- nothing is ever enough. I don't see any way out of it, though. I don;t know anyone who's successfully dropped out of Christmas. I'm doomed anyway, because my wife grew up in a large family without much in the way of luxuries, so this is a big deal for her.

It was 80 degrees here today, on December 10th. Very unusual and I'm afraid it means theres hell to pay later this winter. Meanwhile, I'm loving it.

@ King: I'd break up with her too, if she clanks her teeth with her fork. Smacking food is another major offense. Eating should be done silently.

I've had some very vivid dreams lately. Most of them are related to deceased family members. In them I am visiting or talking with them about current issues and when I wake up I realize the problems are still unresolved and they are still dead.

People who use their salad fork for the main course, and vice versa...people who start eating before everyone is seated and served...people who fart around other people...fat fuck people who circle the parking lot for 30 minutes trying for a closer parking space instead of parking and walking...die motherfuckers die. Happy Holidays.

I'm a very impatient and intolerant person. Must come from my German and Austrian heritage but my list of pet peeves changes everyday. Some current irks off the top of my head are:

Those automatic faucets in bathrooms that give you water for three seconds and decide not to work anymore

Chinese drivers

Wiggers

Fat welfare moms who chain smoke while pushing their baby strollers and who feed their little kids coke and pepsi as a safe alternate

Large numbers of chinese college students who walk around sharing a permanent group hug and grinning like idiots

Rainy days -- used to love them, now they cost me money as I work outdoors

Washing dishes has always been pure hell for me. Washing someone else's dirty dishes is gross and wrong. I've been know to eat off foam plates for weeks at a time to avoid dishes.

Let's just say the chinese in general.

Pushy strippers who hound me for lapdances when I haven't even gotten a fucking beer yet.

People who walk slowly on the pavement or (even worse) couples or groups who insist on walking abreast of each other.

Devious, underhand individuals who disappear when it's their turn to buy me a drink.

Going to the supermarket and getting a trolley that (once there is some weight in it) constantly veers in one direction, requiring no small exertion to get it to go in the opposite one.

Going to the toilet in a pub only to discover (post main event) that there is no toilet paper/soap/hot water.

To get in the Christmas spirit of things. Add the preface "people in front of you in the check out lane who" to all of the following:

-have a bank card that only allows them to spend $100 per day yet they have a shopping cart with at least $300 worth of shit in it, 90% of which is going to end up being dumped in the check out person's lap when the cretin has no other method of paying for it.

-have five gift cards with anywhere between $.01 and $3.58 left on them that they want to use to pay for the $20 worth of shit they are buying.

-have screaming little kids with them, especially at times of night when all screaming little kids should be sleeping little kids. I don't remember Dr. Spock signing off on the idea of taking your 7 year old brat shopping with you at 3:00 AM.

-seem to do the shopping for everyone on their block, i.e. "I want to pay for these two items separately, these three items separately, this item separately, these two items separately...

-think that 185 items is close enough to the "around 12 items" disclaimor at the express lane.

Also the people who take 15 minutes between the time they get in their car and the time they actually pull out of the parking place. You are not doing the final pre-launch checkover for a space shuttle flight you are Christmas shopping. Sit your ass in the car, put car in either drive or reverse, and get the hell out of my parking place.

Hah! That sounds more like an organ grinders monkey.

The Hungarian strippers are the worst. A few years ago the titty bars and rub + tugs were flooded with them. Things haven't been the same since.

I discovered a new holiday peeve. I walked into the LCBO (govt-regulated liquor store and the only place to buy booze) to get a few cans. On the way a homeless guy and a dude with a violin hit me up for cash. Then I got to stand in line forever because nobody uses cash anymore. The guy in front of me paid for one king can of beer with his fucking debit card. After all this the cunt behind the counter has the nerve to ask if I'd like to donate $2 to the Sick Kids Hospital.

Despite being a twisted fuck I also have a compassionate side but the line has got to be drawn. I give when I feel like giving. I give a lot less and a lot infrequently when every fifth jackoff I encounter is looking for a handout.

Is the wholesale slaughter of people you deem "useless" wrong??? I think Im gonna take a week off of work and build a crematorium for the stupids. I would make them build it, but they'd fuck it up on me and I'd have to build the cocksucker myself anyways.


Anyone and I mean ANYONE who writes checks in public...buh- bye fruits!!!

Fatties who hover in the middle of the isle and then look at you painfully when you politely say "excuse me"...next time its a .45 to the temple fatty...fuck it's probably gonna take a few rounds just get thru all the fucking fat...

Old people that make up their own parking spots.

people in line at a popular fast food chain and have to study the menu like they've never eaten there before or have no idea what they serve...

people that dont speak English......GET THE FUCK OUT!!!
Like Jesse Ventura said about Tito Santana..."He's like a cue ball, the harder you hit him, the more English you get outta him"

Yuppies...especially young yuppies. Fuck your khaki pants...you'll be pissing in them when Im pounding your face out.

People who wanna make a left turn but move farther to the right to do so, not allowing me to get past you to make my right turn...one day I will get out and just slash your tires on the fucking spot and then when you sit there dumbfounded as to what just happened, I will set your vehicle ablaze.

Society

I agree about stupidity. Actually I noticed there are a lot more stupid people in the world than one could imagine.

Last night one of the grips (who is Turkish) was dared to wank and splooge on the fire at camp. He did and got $500.

Today I woke up sick and ended up doing almost nothing until the last 3 hours before we shut down. BTW Bornyo: someone with a cat's tongue is a person who can't eat hot food. I can't eat something unless it's cooled down dramatically, neither can I drink hot drinks until my tongue has adjusted to their temperature- but I'll bitch you out if you give me warm food.

I am also getting ready for Christmas, you know dropping slugs into the store Santa’s money pail, picking up an Angel card from the Mall Christmas tree, then not buying the gift, and watering down patches of ice so people bust their ass. Always the season of miracles for me.

"-have five gift cards with anywhere between $.01 and $3.58 left on them that they want to use to pay for the $20 worth of shit they are buying"

tup this drives me up the fucking wall, twice in the last month behind two people who after finishing paying for their 50 pounds of catfood and 19 two liters of sugar laden soft drink, ask the check out person to "so can you just check this card for the balance? 0.00?? no, no money okay how about this one?"

Loopnode, just concentrate on the pretty girls.

whats wrong with you?

i know that brody jenner is hosting a party at lax tonight and i have also seen the hills, also the company american bistro is ridic overpriced at the luxor, 46 for lamb chops, the steaks are average and run 40 to 65 (which if craftsteak would be money), and dover sole will run you 48 as an entree and none of it is good, but you do get to hear techno music from lax blaring next door

serious dissapointment tonight

My car needs repair and my work truck was full of too much equipment to leave parked downtown, so I took the bus to do some shopping last night.

The place was packed for Midnight Madness and I encountered every scourge of life in dire need of purging: Slack-jawed mouth breathers. Fat welfare moms who bring a hot friend to push the stroller really slowly so the whale can scout for her next mercy fuck. Loud mouthy teens who have never been parented a day in their lives. The proverbial guy from out of town who's stuck and just needs some money to get home. Black youth who should be arrested for the threatening looks they shoot at you. The skanky blonde bursting with babymama fat who's hanging out waiting to get gangfucked by said black youth.

I'd like to thank each and every one of these people for inspiring me to get off my ass and fix my car. I'll never have to travel with the shallow end of the gene pool again and my mechanic will be able to take his wife on an exotic vacation.

toys 'r' us, friday, noon, mid-december, eleven days before christmas. everybody who has ever birthed a child is there. how many registers are open? two. of course, this is probably because they needed 50 workers out on the floor to answer all the black people who ask "how much do this cost?". are they like genetically programmed to not see price tags? i was about to open the nerf sniper rifle box in my cart (it has a scope on it, it's for my nine year-old, does this guarantee he will become a serial killer?") and start plugging the customers.

This time of year with out a doubt is midget frenzy season....
The majority of midgets must earn enough money during this season that they are able to take their disproportionate heads and misshapened limbs back into hiding for 11 months.
Lets not forget anyone who cannot operate a motor vehical in a way where others are not inconvienced by their inability to make a decision.(such as the decision to fucking go when the fucking light turns fucking green)
One day I will be behind you in a large nondescript 4-wheel drive,and after you make me miss the light because your cell call was more important than anywhere I need to be,don't be surprized when your car is moving forward into the path of a crossbound semi despite you having both feet planted on the brakes...
Whew it feels good to vent.
IF I DONT GIVE YOU MY PHONE NUMBER...? DONT EVER FUCKING CALL ME!